Hi! I’m new around here and should introduce myself. I’m Emily, and I’m a mom of four. I have a 13-year-old son, an 11-year-old son with special needs, a 10-year-old daughter, and a 4-year-old daughter. I stay at home with the kids and my husband is a software engineer. With all the activities, lessons, concerts, and (right now) summer camps we have going, to say things are busy around here is an understatement.
Over time and with a lot of practice, I’ve discovered some things that make it run more smoothly at our house. They work for my big family, but I think they’ll work for everybody. If I know anything, it’s that all moms and dads feel busy and overwhelmed sometimes, no matter how many kids they have. Being a parent is hard! (And amazing.)
Tip #1 Organize EVERYTHING
I have a master planner that keeps our schedules, meal plan, grocery lists, school papers, budget, clothing needs, Christmas list, etc. It’s a physical, paper planner, because I find that I’m more likely to remember things when they’re written down. Inside I keep a couple of notebooks for lists.
In the planner, everyone is color-coded a different color. For example, Elijah’s activities are written in blue, and Madelyn’s are purple. I find this easy to glance at and understand quickly.
Tip #2 MEAL PLANNING & buying in bulk
Every Sunday I meal plan for the week, and I also grocery shop or order groceries online that day. That way I always know what I’m making for meals, and I always have the ingredients on hand. Tonight I’m making buffalo chicken pasta with salad, and that recipe is coming to the blog in a few days!
I buy meat in bulk when I find a good sale and store it, portioned, in a deep freezer. I know I like to have at least 15 lbs of hamburger meat on hand, 25 lbs of chicken breasts, and 10 lbs of pork loin.
Same goes for pantry supplies. I have a master list of foods I like to have on hand, so I stock up when they go on sale. On this list are things like oatmeal, canned tomatoes and beans, mac and cheese, cereal, granola bars, other snacks, and anything that goes in lunchboxes. For example, today I found a box of 58 granola bars on sale for a crazy good price. I bought two boxes. This system saves so much money and time, and I never worry about running out. I keep a running list in my planner, but by now I know what I’m looking for without it. If you’d like more detail about any of this, please leave a comment and let me know. I’d be happy to do an in-depth blog entry about just meal planning and bulk buying, and how it saves us money.
By the way, I couldn’t do all of this cooking from frozen without an Instant Pot. If you don’t have one, it’s an absolute necessity, in my opinion. It can cook chicken from frozen in 20 minutes! I do still use my Crock Pot a lot, and consider it a must-have, as well. But that Instant Pot is worth its weight in gold when I have 30 minutes to cook dinner!
Because I know I’ll get this question, in order to save money I cook dinner six nights a week and we only go out once. And when we do go out, we exclusively go to places that have “kids eat free” nights. My husband and have no problem splurging on a date, but when we take all 6 of us out, we try to do it as inexpensively as possible! Still, it’s nice to get a break from cooking dinner once a week, and of course the kids love going out to restaurants.
Tip #3 BATHROOM quick tips
- Color-code towels and use hooks in the bathroom instead of racks. Towels on hooks are easier to hang and take up less space. Also since everyone has a different color, I know who left that pile of blue towels on the ground.
- Leave toothbrushes and hair fixing supplies downstairs in a common bathroom/area. That way everyone can brush their teeth without having to go back up in the mornings (they get distracted up there!), and I can go around the table fixing hair while kids eat breakfast.
- Schedule showers and baths. This one is probably obvious, but we have to divide showers and baths between morning and bedtime. Older kids in the morning, littles at night.
Tip #4 Spend INTENTIONAL TIME focusing on your relationship with your partner, and on self care
Parenting can be all-encompassing. You can spend every waking hour obsessing over your kids… their activities, their schoolwork, their attitudes, their wardrobes, their appointments. It’s honestly never-ending, but it’s not healthy to live your life without taking care of yourself and your relationship.
My husband and I go on a date every two weeks on Saturday night. This number of dates works for us so we feel connected and focused on each other. That doesn’t mean twice a month will work for you, because of course everyone has different emotional needs, not to mention different schedules. But figure out what does work! Hire a babysitter and go on a date. Have a conversation where you don’t talk about the kids. Just have fun together!
Self-care is even more important. Get your hair done, schedule a massage, or whatever it is that makes you feel like a person. Because you are such an important person. The MOST important person. Your family and your kids need you to take care of yourself so you can take care of them. A happy mom is a good mom. For me, this means listening to my favorite podcasts, reading books, and working out. Alone.
Tip #5 Manage your EXPECTATIONS
This is one of those things that’s just a life tip. It’s good for everyone, no matter their circumstance. But life in a big family, or one with a special needs child (in our case both), requires a step back from the typical American lifestyle. And that’s okay. When you let go of the expectation to be like everyone else, whether that’s families on tv or others in your neighborhood, you free yourself from pressure and open yourself up for more enjoyment of your own family. With a positive mindset, the chaos fades, and the appreciation for what you have multiplies!
Thanks for reading, and I hope you’ve enjoyed my tips for big families! What are your tips for making life easier with your own kids? I’d love to hear from you!
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